It hurts when the neighbor kids ask what we're going to do with the toys.
It hurts when people go on to question why we weren't the right parents and say it must have been because there were 4.
It hurts when someone asks us we don't just "have our own."
Most of all it hurts because they were our own, but only for 10 days.

And right now it hurts because it's my birthday, and they aren't here to share it with me.

Not really reinstated after all....

Well, I got a call today and the director said there may be a problem. So he's going to call back Monday.

Reinstated

I found out I will be reinstated starting on Monday. I felt a little let down this morning when the director called and said they didn't have a beginning of the year position for me. But he asked how I'd feel about home instruction. I said I thought I'd enjoy it! An hour and a half later they called and offered me the position.

I don't know at all how it works, how many students I'll have, or what exactly I'll be teaching, but I'm thankful to be reinstated.

A few notes

It feels good to say this: I actually think we're starting to feel better. It kind of goes in waves and backtracks, but I can at least add the comparative "-er" now.

I requested reinstatement from leave, but have yet to hear if I have a position. School starts on the 24th, so hopefully I'll hear something this week?

Sean has been working nights for a few weeks now. It's been hard to have a "schedule" because of it. Evidently, when one is healing, one is supposed to have a "schedule." I guess we've done the best we can.

For the first time, I enjoyed playing with the neighbor kids over the weekend. That is good.

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.”
- Henri Nouwen