Sunday, October 10, 2010

Thank you friends for your encouragement!

Thursday, October 7, 2010


I don't like my job anymore. It rules my life. It makes my stomach knot up most days. I come home exhausted, mad, cranky and wanting to give up. Because of the environment, kids are afraid to talk. I then have to fight that to get them to learn.

Basically, most days I feel like my life stinks. I'm unhappy, rushed, tired, frustrated, and just fed up with life being this way.

Yes, I have a job (and I should be sooo thankful) and I have house (I should be soo thankful) and I'm not sick. But the one thing, the only thing, I want I can't have. I hear other people say how blessed they are..because they have kids. And that's all I want!!! Why can't I have that? I honestly could care less, at this point, where I lived or how much money we made. I can't even spend time with the people I want to spend time with either.

I am so mad! I'm so mad I'm crying. So there you have it. I hold it in all day long. But when I come home, the anxiety, suppression, frustration and indignation comes flowing out. And I hate that. I want to relax and enjoy home. But I can't. Cause it's all gotta come out somewhere.