Monday, July 20, 2009

A Drive to Illinois

This past weekend, we drove to IL to celebrate Granny's 90th Birthday. It was a difficult weekend. Right before we left for Colombia, we'd heard of the plans to have this party for her. Of course we wanted to go, but didn't know if we'd even be back from Colombia in time.

But we were. And to be there without our kids was really hard. Taking pictures without our kids was really hard. And I couldn't make it through the picture with Granny, Mom and my sisters...because H wasn't in the picture with me.

Sunday was our anniversary, and to our stunned surprise, the radio played the song we were supposed to have danced to at our wedding! (The music didn't work at the reception.) And then when we arrived home, there was a package from Em. Em, it is absolutely beautiful! I cut out the note on the envelope and put it inside. Very timely indeed. :)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Questions Unanswered

I know the thought going through everyone's mind is, "What happened down there?" And honestly, the same question goes through our mind, just in a a different context. How could the Lord, who'd provided everything for this adoption for nearly 2 1/2 years, ordain (or permit) this to happen? We have absolutely no idea...and we may never know.

What we do know is that this hurts to the depths of our very being. We are trying to go through the motions of life at least, even though we don't want to. Through it all, we know that the Lord is working in our life, and in the lives of the children and we trust Him in that. But that's pretty much all we've got.

We are so very thankful for everyone's prayers and offers to help. If you're in the area and want to stop by to say hi for a while, we'd like that. If you're wondering what to say to us, or anyone whose been through something like this, "I'm so sorry" is the best thing to say.

Though it's difficult to watch friends go through something painful and not know what happened, that is how this must be. While part of this is Sean's and my story, the other part belongs to our 4 children. In order to protect them and their future family, we will not be sharing the details of what happened.

Friday, July 3, 2009


We were not able to complete the adoption. We were not the right parents for the children. We were parents for 10 days. There are no words to express how sad, sick, and devasted we are.