Thursday, December 30, 2010


I was thinking the other day, that nothing more on earth shows our need for redemption more than relationships. My very next thought was, "That is not very profound. That is exactly what has been redeemed: our relationship with the Almighty."

But it had me thinking. Then I went on to read some articles by an education writer who was critiquing the character ed fads that pop up. He went on to state the flaws of each program. He stated that they come from the premise that children are sinful. He asserted that they truly are compassionate, and gave examples of children acting in compassion.

But who is to know the heart, except for God? I know I do things that may look caring on the outside, but motive is anything but. The more I read this Henri Nouwen book, the more my sinful ways are exposed to me. Oh my. How I do use relationships. How my sin taints every aspect of my life.

And yet, my relationship with God is redeemed. After experiencing hugging "my" children goodbye, and watching them walk away, and the utter desolation that I felt, God's love is even more incomprehensible to me. God sent his son, knowing that to do so would include pain.

Jesus' life was the very essence of compassion-to suffer with. His coming to experience life on earth was him suffering with us. He didn't turn away from the woman who reached out to touch his robe. He didn't cast aside the distraught father, he turned to the children who were around him. He knew Peter would deny him, and yet he didn't let that relationship go.

I watched our Encuentro video on Monday. I was attempting to transfer files to my new computer, and thought it would be a good time to put the video on a DVD so it wouldn't get lost. I thought I could handle watching it.

The minute my eyes saw the children, i felt like I'd been whacked. I felt paralyzed. And furious. And so, so sad. I watched us talking to them, hugging them, seeing the hesitation in their eyes. Our pale faces from extreme anxiety.  I got scared that my mind would forget their faces.

And then I had the familiar thought, "I need to go get them." I don't know where this comes from. It just wells up. The get-me-on-a-plane-right-now feeling. We, to this day, have felt nothing but peace about the decision. But, that doesn't take away the longing and the love, I guess.

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