After getting off the phone with my sister, talking about H and how a student at school makes me face unmotherhood everyday because I had her in 4th grade and had this post about her two years ago, I walk up to the door and see a large address with CHI's return address.
As has always been the case when getting an envelope from CHI, my heart began to do somersaults.
And then I opened it up. Our dossier had been returned from Colombia.
All those papers, carefully gathered and regathered and regathered with love, the epitome of being an expectant parent, staring me in the face, mocking my pain. Causing tears, creating emotional chaos, anger.
If I was a swearing person, this would be the appropriate time.