Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Our Dossier Was Returned

After getting off the phone with my sister, talking about H and how a student at school makes me face unmotherhood everyday because I had her in 4th grade and had this post about her two years ago, I walk up to the door and see a large address with CHI's return address.

As has always been the case when getting an envelope from CHI, my heart began to do somersaults.

And then I opened it up. Our dossier had been returned from Colombia.

All those papers, carefully gathered and regathered and regathered with love, the epitome of being an expectant parent, staring me in the face, mocking my pain. Causing tears, creating emotional chaos, anger.

If I was a swearing person, this would be the appropriate time.


Jacq & Jason said...

funny we have requested ours be returned... and 2 years later it has never come back. Still praying for you.

Megan said...

I am so, so very sorry.

I cannot know or understand all that you have been through and the great pain you faced in the past, in Colombia, daily, and again today.

I have read parts (most) of your blog and my heart cries out with/for you.

Praying for you as you face this trial (again) today...

kramerfamily said...

So sorry for your pain Angie.

Sherri said...

Or a time to break something. Saying a prayer for you tonight.