Just some thoughts

My husband often teases me that I use this blog as a "diary in the sky". I use it to process my thoughts and feelings, and say things that I might not actually say in person to someone. Strange, but it's therapeutic for me.

And as such, it may tend to get the brunt of my angst, struggle, and so forth.

So, to even it out a little:

I am beyond thrilled to be expecting our son. It's a wondrous gift. Every day I feel him moving around and can't believe I am experiencing it. My belly is getting bigger, and as his birth day nears, I'm so excited. I can hardly wait to hold him in my arms and kiss his sweet cheeks.

25 weeks

Well, here at 25 weeks, I'm feeling ok. Baby boy moves a lot, and it's simply wonderful to feel it. At first it kinda freaked me out, like I had a zombie in me, but now it's natural feeling. I'm very much looking forward to having him in my arms. The ten days I had with the ninos, while filled with intense struggle, were still sweet to me. I'm still amazed that I get to experience motherhood again.

Preparing for this baby feels so much the same, and yet so much different. I think the biggest difference is the fact that he'll attach so quickly. He already knows our voices. He'll accept comfort from us. We won't be in battle to build a family; fighting years of trauma. It'll just happen. Sometimes I feel guilty. But this is what the Lord has given us. And it is good.