Well, our plans for this labor day weekend suddenly changed when S called on Friday afternoon. He'd been switched to a different jobsite and that site is working 12's. Sooo, he wouldn't be home at 3:45 like usual. It would be more like 7. And, they are working on Saturday and Sunday too. So yesterday was a very loooong day for me. Around 3:30, I was so tired of being home by myself. However, I WAS glad that we now have a doggie to keep me company. The only thing is, she is used to S getting home around 4 too, and she started pacing and "grunting" by the front door then until he came home! It was pretty funny. Every time she'd hear a diesel like noise her ears would prick up and she'd stand motionless listening. And then when it wasn't S's truck, she'd go back to grunting and pacing.
We were supposed to go up to E-town today (Sunday), to visit with the family, but now that won't be happening. S will be wiped out tomorrow, so we probably will just be around home relaxing.
In other news, we filled out a grant application for Shoahannah's Hope and just recieved our last recommendation that we need to send in with it. Receiving a grant would be a blessing!
We've also been speaking with our SW to be reevaluated for 3/4 siblings. It's taking a long time though, so it's easy to get frustrated. I think the most frustrating thing is that this past year and a half we've already been doing things to prepare for that number of kids. So to have to do it all over again, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just adds "emotionality" to the whole thing. Because of course we don't even know if she'll approve us. And at this point, short of actually getting a degree in social work, all the talking to families, a psychologist, and the multitude of books we've read has pretty well opened our eyes to what we could be "getting ourselves into". So as the attachement psychologist said, "There's no way to really prepare for this. Just be as knowledgeable as you can about the different issues that may come up."
I think the hardest thing now is that I second guess myself. It's as if by going through all this again, I sense doubt from others and then doubt myself. I mean it's things like, "Will I really be able to cook for that many kids?" and then I tell myself, "A, you never had a problem cooking for S's Bible study of 8-10 GUYS!" Or, will I really be able to get myself out of bed when the kids need me?" And then I say, "A, you get yourself out of bed even when S needs to go to work at 5 and wakes you up at 4:30!
We still trust the Lord for the family that He has for us. So if you would pray that we would stay strong in the Lord and be able to ignore the doubts that are thrown our way.