Friday, October 10, 2008


When people are truly honest with their feelings, it's uncomfortable. I guess that's why I like this blog. I can be honest, and if people are uncomfortable, I don't have to see it! Anyway, I was sharing with someone my frustration over the Homestudy taking so long with the agency not being able to operate right now. And they were uncomfortable with my frustration.

Of course I'm frustrated. Have I lost all hope? No! But I'm allowed to be frustrated! I think that's the uncomfortable part. People don't want to have to deal with the hurt they see. So they say something, hoping to just make it go away (which it won't) instead of just validating the other person's feelings.

That's hard to take over and over! So it makes me think about our kids. They're going to have a ton of feelings that we may not have dealt with before. And our job as parents will be to validate them and walk them through those feelings. Not just brush the feelings aside and say "God has a plan". (Which He does, but it becomes a trite saying sometimes.)

So I have to say, even though I don't like the waiting, I'm learning from it. I'm able to see how I react to people brushing off how I feel, and then think about how I'm going to react to my kids. And then I go try it out on the kids at school. :) And hey, what do you know? It works!! It's amazing to see how quickly a kid will calm down if you just speak what they're feeling and allow them to cry instead of telling them "it'll be ok" (which it might not) or saying, "1st graders don't cry, you're a big kid now" (come on! I cry!!)


Jenn said...

Great post! I can imagine it IS frustrating dealing with such unknowns as you have with your homestudy agency but it sounds like you are using this experience - God's plan - to build the resources you'll need when you finally get to bring your children home! Hooray for you!

Hope you have a great weekend. Peace and blessings!

Genece said...

Oh, how I can relate! In our long and frustrating wait with what seemed to be inundated with setbacks and obstacles to overcome, what stood out was the many lessons we learned in the process and how critical that we learn them before we brought the children home! You are so right in your thinking and I speak from experience here. As frustrating as it is now, one of these days you'll look back and it will be a mere distant memory overshadowed from the joy that the children bring, easily erasing much of the confusion you now feel. Oh I cannot wait to see who's waiting for you in Colombia!
Hang in there and keep that faith. Take hold of the lessons and apply them now because they'll probably be useful when the kiddos enter the picture. I just can't help but feel that God has some great things in store for you! Great rewards will come through your obedience, I just feel it!

Renee said...

I'm glad you are blogging and have a place where you can share your true feelings. Believe me, many of us understand and can relate to your frustrations! It's ok. Keep us posted on how the home study is progressing and hang in there.